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Hey Bulls Fans!

First let me say it's great to be back on the sidelines for your soon-to-be-once-again World Champions. It's especially great for me cause I've been, like, so out of shape with the lockout and all. I got so lazy that I was only working out once every other day. And believe me, it showed. But don't worry, I'm happily back in midseason form.

Which is more than I can say for our Bulls. I missed most of the first quarter on Monday because I had to watch the end of Castle -- which, by the way, OMG, could there be any more sexual tension between Beckett and Castle? I mean, did you see how jealous Beckett got when Castle kissed that insurance investigator? I mean, he has been just sitting there waiting for her all this time, and she needs to seriously get her head out of her ass and tell that boy how she feels before he decides to give up and move on. But anyway, once I changed over to the Bulls game and saw them down by 15 to Golden State, I thought to myself "Beckett's not the only one who needs to get their head out of their ass."

 

 

There was a lot of standing around waiting out there by our boys. On offense. On defense. Going for rebounds. Our key players need to start stepping it up.

I mean, sometimes I think Carlos Boozer's been practicing for his Matadors tryout, the amount of times I saw him ole on defense out there. Saying that isn't really fair to the Matadors, though. Carlos has a thing or two to learn from those boys on how to be sexy. That's right. You know what us women find sexy? Confidence. I see it every time those boys shake their hairy bellies in front of 20 thousand people. But I haven't seen it from Carlos yet this year.

We saw it from Derrick Rose in that amazing fourth-quarter run against the Lakers. But other than that, not really. He needs to be more of a leader. I took a business leadership class my sophomore year at UIC, so I know that giving your co-workers a chance to shine is part of being a good leader. But just not when your co-workers are Ronnie Brewer and CJ Watson. Derrick needs to assert himself more on offense. Take control. You know us women love a man who's willing to stand up and take control of the situation. Derrick hasn't done that yet, but I'm sure he will soon. And he needs to. Without him making things happen, scoring for the Bulls is like pulling teeth. And as a second-year dentistry student at UIC, I know a thing or two about pulling teeth.

Also, I still don't get why Rip Hamilton wears a mask all the time. Is he wearing it so people won't recognize him? Because if so, it's obviously not working. I mean, for one, he's the only one out there wearing a mask. It's sort of, like, process of elimination at that point. Not to mention that we can all see his face anyway because his mask is see-through! I mean seriously, someone should really tell him that.

Anyway, the one bright spot for the Bulls so far has been Luol Deng. That little fade-hawk he's got going through the first two games is a solid look. Very hip. Very Euro. I like. And I guess he's been scoring pretty well, too. His 21.5 ppg average leads the team.

But on to tonight's game against the Sacramento Kings - If this were a contest between cities, it would be no contest. I mean, how many clubs are there in Sacramento? Like, two? Maybe? Regardless, you would not see me caught dead in either of them.

Similarly, on paper, this should be a game the Bulls handle easily. The Kings are the youngest team in the NBA, with more than two-thirds of the players on their roster having three years of NBA service time or less. They finished last season with a 24-58 record. In Portland on Tuesday night, they suffered a second-half meltdown that included 9-of-38 second half shooting and a total of 20 turnovers. But the games are not played on paper, obviously. For one, that would make dribbling almost impossible.

The Kings' best player so far has been shooting guard Marcus Thornton. He's a bit chunky, but that hasn't hurt his ability to attack the basket. He put up 27 points against the Lakers on Monday and 14 against the Blazers, and he did it all after passing a kidney stone last week. I've never had kidney stones, but one time I had to go out and dance with an ovarian cyst, and let me tell you it was no picnic. But that's just what us professionals do.

Sacramento's other key scorer is Tyreke Evans, the point guard who followed Derrick Rose at Memphis. As long as Rose can do what Detective Beckett ought to and start getting his head in the game, Evans will spend Thursday night in his shadow once again.

At power forward, they have DeMarcus Cousins, who went to college at Kentucky, just like Ashley Judd. God, I hope I age as well as she has. Cousins will be a good matchup for Joakim Noah, since both are physical players with a tendency to get animated on the floor. Hopefully Jo can take the ball right at Cousins early and get him into foul trouble.

The Kings also have two rookies coming off the bench -- Isaiah Thomas, who I could have seriously sworn was a lot older, and Jimmer Fredette. Jimmer comes in as a highly touted three-point shooter, but he's only gone 1-of-5 from beyond the arc so far this season. Clearly he and his sexy jawline were waiting until I had a chance to watch. Though hopefully he waits until at least the second quarter in this game. Grey's Anatomy is on, after all.

My prediction: Bulls 97, Kings 89

Hugs N Kisses,

Tammy

NOTE: Tammy is a fictional character and is not meant to resemble any actual person, Loveabull or otherwise. Feel free to use your imagination, though.